Stress: the Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Eight Tools for your Stress Toolbox

It is unbelievable to me that the holiday season is almost here again. But it is right around the corner, and now is the time to get prepared so you can get the most out of it.

Stress is a natural companion to this time of year. By stress I include both the good and the bad kinds. Good stress caused by the excitement of visiting friends and family, parties, time off work and school, giving and getting gifts, anticipating all of that, and high expectations about enjoying every minute of it. Bad stress caused by lack of sleep, increased ingestion of rich and sugary foods and drinks, breakdown in routine, and an abundance of unstructured time. Other culprits are traveling to exciting destinations, worries about money, unmet expectations, hosting relatives or friends - with its companion: extra cooking, laundry and cleaning, etc.

Since both kinds of stress can contribute to an undesirable change in children’s behaviors, how can you prepare so that there are as few problems as possible and how can you best manage when problem behaviors appear?

Plan, plan, plan
Meals: no need to be anal about it, but buy food, plan and cook meals ahead of time, freezing the main portion of several meals so that only simple side dishes need to be prepared right before mealtimes.
Activities: although it is tempting to cram a ton of activities into a short amount of time, be realistic about fitting them in around routine activities, or substitute a normal routine for an unusual one. Remember “doing nothing” can also be a planned activity – the time you plan to “do nothing” with will quickly be snapped up by everything else that you did not plan to do!

Routines
Since routines provide such great structure to a child’s day, as much as you possibly can, keep mealtimes and bedtimes to their regular times. Hunger and tiredness inevitably produce poor behavior in children (and in adults!), so why give yourself trouble? When it is not possible to stick to the usual routine, allow extra time for little ones to adjust to the change. Meals may take a little longer, or snacks may need to be more frequent. Naptimes may be shorter, and bedtimes may require more patience as your overtired youngster settles down.

Discipline
Just because there is slack in the routines or changes in the activities, it does not follow that there should be slack in discipline. It is more important than ever to provide your child with your usual approach to dealing with his behaviors. Like routines, discipline provides great structure that children need in order to stay calm and centered.

Delegate
If you are the host, do not feel it is your job to also be the events planner, concierge, therapist, mediator, historian, chef, interior decorator and cleaner. Be a good delegator and rely upon the various strengths and skills of your guests of all ages. Even if you are not hosting, delegate anyway to those in the family who are capable of taking on some of the extra load.

Help out
If you are visiting, offer to help the host out. There is no need to wonder what you could do to be helpful, merely ask! Encourage the rest of the visitors to help out too – even the youngest visitor can feel proud when asked to help out.

Nutrition
Sugar is the enemy! Although it is tempting to overload on sugary and calorie-loaded foods and drinks, try to keep excesses to a minimum. You and your children can still enjoy them in moderation. Prepare by buying and serving healthy meals and snacks. Make healthy meals ahead, or prepare easy-to-cook meals and plan so you have plenty of leftovers. Put sugary gifts in the freezer and apportion them out throughout the season or the year. Or give them away.

Exercise
Whatever your usual exercise routine is – stick to it. If you double up on the time or intensity in order to justify eating/drinking five times the calories, you’ll burn out in a hurry. Even take a little exercise vacation if you feel like it. Once you get back into a routine after the holidays, your body will thank you and return to its normal condition. Make sure your children get plenty of physical activity too, as it helps them adjust to changes in routine and ensures a good night’s sleep.

Relaxation
Schedule a little quiet time for the children, and a little alone time for yourself. Out of all the hours in your day, relaxation will buy the best bang for your buck, since it is the best way to recharge your batteries and keep you going the rest of the day.